A Friend Compelled me to Write this

 This is Girl speaking. A year ago a friend asked me to help him write something for his own story, so I did, in the span of a few days. He gave me just a simple list of the most important plot-points, and then let me make whatever I want out of it and come up with my own ideas in the process.  I had quite some fun making this draft, probably because I knew it was nothing more than a draft to hopefully inspire him and it was nice to write something quite different from what I usually write, to change my voice a little bit. This also helped me realize that I tend to find it more enjoyable to make dislikeable characters. I ended up really hating this character.

Anyway, here is what came out of it:

"Georgios has been walking for days, carrying a heavy body that is his own. His boots have seen better days; they have been through all sort of disasters, from wildfires to flood. Now, they are covered in moss, about to become one with nature. Some of it can be blamed on his own rash behavior. Like a week ago, for example, when he did not care to bring a map and compass before going heedlessly into a forest, rumored to have no end, determined to find the place he has only seen in his dreams. Why would he need equipment if his mind had already shown him the way? Why would he care if there was no end, if he had no plan of leaving once what was lost had been found? The woman, from all those years ago. Him and her would stay by the fireplace and need no more than each other’s warmth, to be forever kept in the cabin placed outside of the world. You need to stop relying on your dreams Georgios, it is utter nonsense, a few men used to tell him in his hometown, pretending to be concerned about his well-being. 

“They don´t get it… They don´t understand that I need to… I need… I need her” he is talking to himself, stumbling in his own words, because his thoughts cannot keep up with his speech. Or was it the other way around? Speech cannot keep up with thoughts… Thoughts cannot keep up with thoughts… Thoughts, speech, thoughts. Whatever it may be! It has been a while since he has talked to a real person, but it is for the best. He can no longer look someone in the eyes when all he sees is the judgement of who he has become. Last time he dared to look, was when he talked about his mother with the fisherman’s daughter. She had kind eyes and was too young to know who to deem as less. He would have brought her with him if she was old enough to make such choice. But the rest, can just go to hell! He is sick of justifying his inner monologue to people. If they don´t get it, that´s their problem. Only the whistling leaves, his own voice and the eyes of the fisherman´s daughter can keep him company now. 

His back is falling every time he tries to straighten it up, and he moves forward like a slug. The old flesh put on his outer appearance is not corresponding with the rapid changes in his inner world. The moon is above him, begging him to sleep, but because of the trees, he can´t see its face. 

“Shut up moon! You are a filthy swindler. You know that.. if I sleep now… I will get new dreams! And I will mix my new dreams with my dreams of her, and then I will have nothing to guide me anymore!” he yells, looking up at the sky, but seeing no stars. 

“But you need sleep Georgios. You have not rested for days. You will die if you keep going and then you will never see Poliana” he replies, with a high-pitched voice, mimicking the moon. 

“Don´t you dare say that name! I know what you are doing. The God of Sleep sent you, but I ain´t falling for your tricks. You know I never forget the faces of the people who owe me, and if I fall asleep now, you will owe me big time! I will make sure that I find my way out of this no-man’s-land and then I will look up at your face so that it will be forever ingrained in my memory. You do not know what I am capable of. I, more powerful than God himself, can free this planet from the grip of the moon. No sun shall ever shine on you again, if you dare to force my eyes to shut” he tells the moon, with such power and passion that the moon must think he is a deranged man. 

“Oh, dear child…” he imagines the moon telling him, while putting on a motherly face. How foolish. That won´t work on him. He knows who his mother is. 

“Don´t call me your fucking child” he curses at the moon. 

“Last time you thought… the woman who shall not be named… was hiding in the cabin. But the place had been emptied of her scent once you got there. Wherever your dreams have brought you now, it can´t be trusted.” He says in a mocking voice. 

“Oh, the sun has blinded you moon, because the journey was not for nothing. The dream’s purpose was to guide me to the woman I am longing for. It was only to tell me how to find my way to her. I was about to leave the cabin, disappointed and discouraged, but once all hope was lost, a warlock stole a trees shadow so that he could show himself to me. He told me that he had been waiting for me, that my dreams are my gift but that I need to learn how to control them. He said that if there is a woman I seek, he can teach me how to find her in my dreams.  And that is exactly what he did. Ingerstad, that is where I have to go. You see, moon, he has more power than you because he is the only one who can ever demand me to sleep.” Georgios is talking like he is telling a fantastic tale. 

There must be a reason the warlock didn´t show him the way out. The warlock must have seen the greatness within him and known that no help would be needed. Georgios, the boundless hero, stopped by no one, admired by all. He looks at the trees surrounding him. They don´t look much different than the ones he just passed. His mother used to tell him to be careful around trees because they can steal your soul. 

“It is the imprisonment of a human soul that make them look distinguishably different from one another. In that case, they will have no interest in you. But if they all look the same, it means that they are all empty and hungry for a human’s soul. So, they confuse your mind, creating a maze you can´t get out of, until you lay your head close to their roots. That is the moment they capture you, leaving your body behind, which will be deemed as dead by the rest of the world. That´s how you lost your father. That´s how we have lost countless of men, fooled into believing that a tree is a place to relax.” Georgios repeat the exact words of his mom. Georgios, up until the age of 10, would beg her to bring him to his father´s tree, but she refused. She never dared to step into the forest, not even during daylight.

Georgios must admit that walking, without any sign of getting anywhere, is a toll on his spirit. For a split second, he considers asking a tree about where to go, but he snaps out of it. He can´t disappoint his mother like that. No wonder the moon wants him to rest. Not only is it working with The God of Sleep, but also with the trees of the forest, to ensure that Georgios can never wake up. It has sensed his power, and it feels threatened by it. No one can be trusted. They are all out to get him. All except for the warlock. 

And that is when he sees, a glimpse of light at the very end. The trees are moving to the side for him, creating an opening. He has passed the test. No matter what they do, his body remains his own. He maintains a cool demeanor, but on the inside, thousands of little men are dancing. He starts walking faster. The closer he gets the light, the clearer he sees what is on the other side; a meadow, and a couple of houses waiting for him. This is it. This is his way out. 

He breathes in the fresh air, free from the scent of moss and muddy trunks. He looks up at the moon, and wholly laughs at it. The grass has been refreshed by the summer rain. Georgios takes a moment to lay in it, be cleaned by it. He turns his face to meet the grass, and sniff it all in, like it is the hair of his unborn daughter. Then he gets up, because if he stays still for too long, he will end up drifting to the world of his dreams, meeting his woman way too soon and giving in to the moon´s wish. 

He starts walking up the meadow. Walking upwards is wasteful for his energy, but he does not have much of a choice. At the top, he finds a small neighborhood, but no sign of life. It seems as if whoever settled here, has tried to reconnect with nature, but failed for unknown reasons. He walks up to the house closest to him and looks in its window, giving sight of what must be a kitchen. There is molded food on the table, so the family who lived there must have left in a hurry. 

“Do you think it will hurt to take a bite? I am so hungry!” Georgios says, in a childish voice.

“Are you a special kind of stupid? You will die from food poisoning if you as much as smell the cheese which has been left” Georgios replies, in a strict and authoritative voice. 

Georgios continues towards what must be a barn. It has a somewhat sad look; two windows, looking like eyes, and below is a door with a downwards shape. A cloud is laying over its head, so that it can cry its tears, whenever it rains. 

“Do you think it is sad because everyone left?” Georgios asks, in the same childish voice as before. 

“I don’t know, and I don´t care. Let’s get the heck out of here, so that we don´t need to find out why everyone left.” Georgios answers. 

Well, claiming that everyone is gone is wrong. There are a few animals which were unable to escape, due to being fenced. A horse, and a couple of lambs. Somehow, they are still alive. 

“Maybe whatever it was that made the humans run, had no interest in the animals” Georgios wonder, and walks towards the horse. Two lambs who can barely stand on their own legs are of no use or importance to him, but a horse, can be his legs, help him carry his body which has turned weak. 

The horse has a calm way of being but is clearly hesitant when walking towards him. Her white mane, shine in the moonlight. The same cannot be said about her eyes, which has darkened after witnessing the horrors of the world. Georgios do not know for how long she has been trapped here, but her visible ribcage tells him that she has been starving for a while.  

“Hello there,” Georgios tries to reach out, which makes her take a quick step back, but she is brave enough to not run. There is a scar right under her ear, signing a past of mistreatment. But regardless of her previous experiences with humans, she knows that Georgios might be her only way to gain a few extra years of life. Even in despair and suffering, one does not want to die. She takes a look at Georgios with a curious look, like she is investing his soul. 

“Do you like what you see?” Georgios asks, making an impression of a smug man. The horse wheezes in reply, which makes Georgios giggle. 

“Yeah, I don´t know if I like what I see in the mirror either. But even so, I want to help you out, as long as you promise to help me out.” Georgios reaches his hand out, once again, to make a deal with the horse. She does not seem impressed by his suggestion, or she just simply does not understand it. She is just an animal, after all. 

“Can´t we just free her? Perhaps she will want to help once she sees the kindness of our heart” the little boy in him suggests. 

“You know how it went down the last time we thought it was enough to show a woman the kindness of our heart. But I guess you are right. We have really nothing to lose at this point.” The old man in him replies. 

He unlocks the gate to free the horse. She almost runs him down, and does not slow down, once she is out. She does not even consider waiting for him. Georgios watch as the horse disappears behind the meadow. She leaps to break free from the force of the earth. If she only had wings, she would never have to return to the place which harmed her. Georgios is not bothered by this. It was expected. He knows that she will come back, once the time is right, because he has seen her face, and she won´t be free from his mind until she has served him. And she can never escape the shadowman riding her, terrorizing her mind, as long as she is not truly free. 

Georgios walks through the mouth of the barn, to search for valuable treasures. He bets that family photos and even wedding rings has been left to rot. Maybe he can sell his findings at one of the markets in Ingerstad. Technically he will owe a whole neighborhood if he does, but there is no one here to remember his face, so why should he care? Besides, it is better for a ring to bring joy to a newlywed couple, rather than its last memory being the separation of lovers desperately holding onto each other. 

“Do you take this woman to be your wife?” he asks, like an embarrassed child.

“I do not” he replies, like a serious grownup. 

But once he gets inside, it becomes apparent that rats got ahead of his plan. They have vandalized the place, like the barbarians they are; hoarded all leftovers, scratched the wall, partied in haystacks and stolen the shiniest ring that was for him to find. It is odd to see how defenseless a home becomes, after just a few days without its owner. One can never look away, not even for a second. Georgios is lucky he learned this lesson at a young age. 

Although disappointed, Georgios search was not pointless. There is one thing that no amount of rats can carry or tear apart: a saddle. Seems like the horse will repay her debt sooner than she realized. It satisfies Georgios as well. The list of people owing him is getting long, and he would hate to lose the grip of one. He is not the type to let people off easily, no matter how much he might care for them. He does not believe in stories about good Samaritans. Everything has its price. One should not be kind just to be kind. Every single one he has helped, will one day return the favor.

“Horsey, get back here!” Georgios yells, looking at the end of the meadow, waiting for her return. The night remains silent, while he waits. There are no enemies to fight. No crying babies to save. This could be a moment of appreciation, but he is starting to lose patience. “Hey! Hurry up! I will make sure the Gods curse your fragile soul if you don´t get back here soon enough!” he continues, angry this time. 

And there she comes running. Georgios would have said she was majestic, if it wasn´t for her tail lagging behind like a stiff and dull stick. The sight makes Georgios laugh like he is a little boy again. 

Georgios greets the horse. She does not look very pleased with him. Understandably so, she is only here because she oughts to be. Good thing Georgios is not in the mood to make friends, so her feelings towards him is not going to be a burden. They will separate with light shoulders when the time is right. But he would have lied if he said that her eyes, consumed by so much darkness that there is no room for judgement, doesn´t bring him comfort. 

He saddles the horse and gets up more awkwardly than what he would have liked. He can notice the moon sneering. 

“Yeah yeah, laugh all you want, let’s see you try” he mumbles. Then he commands the horse to start walking. There was no bridle in the barn, so he has to hold onto her mane. He should maintain a slow pace, to avoid a fatal fall, but he does not know if his woman will wait for sunrise, so he starts acting against rationality. “Can´t you move a little bit faster” he hisses at the horse and give her a kick. She puts her ears back, showing that she does not appreciate his tone, and then she kicks both of her back legs. Georgios grabs her neck with both arms, so that he does not fall headfirst and break his own neck. 

“Okay, okay, I get it. You are fucking insane!” Georgios exclaims, mortified. Maybe the lack of sleep is getting to Georgios´ head, but he is pretty sure the horse made a proud smile at his remark. 

He accepts that the horse is the one to choose a suitable pace and takes use of his freedom by looking for stars in the sky. He finds nothing. Even when he is far from civilization, it seems as if he has been doomed to never walk underneath the stars ever again. The curse was put on him after he parted with his youngest brother in anger. He can´t help but think it is unfair, because why is it that the spirits of the universe choose to bless his brother after the same fight? For him, they dress up in green, and dance in the sky.

“You can´t see the stars either, can you, horsey? You are always looking to the side, as if you are awaiting an attack, but you never look up, to ponder the mysteries of the world.”

The horse does not even make a sound. Georgios could just make up an answer for her, but strangely enough, he has enough respect for her to not do so. It is clear that she has her own mind. It is not in his right to impose what he believes she should think. 

“What are your plans, horsey, after you leave me at Ingerstad? I bet a handsome ox would show off his horns to you and take you to his hometown, if you just let him. You seem like the type to like horns.” Georgios keeps on babbling, still looking for stars. She takes a deep breath, like she is sighing to the stupidest thing she has ever heard. 

“That might be your reaction now, but just you wait, horsey. You will need someone just like everyone else. You can´t be completely free. Life becomes meaningless if there are no longer any obligations, no one to give a part of yourself to, nothing bigger than yourself that makes you keep going. Not everyone will scar you, you know?”

The horse takes a moment to think about this. 

“I know what my plans are. Poliana, is her name. Ugh, you should have seen her, horsey! Her hair was a fiery red, taking me all the way back to when I saw my whole life disappear in a wildfire. Whenever she laughed, there was a sparkle in her eyes, burning my soul. She had the best stories to tell, and she was not humble enough to spare them. Everyone knew her name. She was the flame of the town, but she was only my fire. My reason to keep living.” Georgios gets sucked into the memories of her, that he does not even notice the singular star that peeks through a cloud. 

“She always seemed so sure of herself, but one time I complimented her freckles, and it made her blush, like she for the first time got heated. I think that is the most vulnerable anyone has ever seen her. That is when I knew that I must also her fire. But it all went wrong, horsey. She stole my heart but had no plan of giving me hers. She was too busy with her countless lovers to even realize the scar she left me. She owes me the greatest debt. I can´t find peace until I find her. I hate what this woman has done to me, because now her face is impossible to forget.” 

The horse is listening carefully to the whole story but remaining silent. 

“Yeah, horsey, I get it. There is not much to say. I hope you find your fire one day, and that they won´t be in debt of you. You deserve it.” Georgios yawns, realizing how exhausted he is from days of sleepless travel. 

He closes his eyes. The horse is moving gently. It makes him think that he might be a baby in a cradle, who has spent the night dreaming of the man he will become. Or maybe he is a lonely sailor in a boat, who can only fall asleep to waves. He tries to keep his head up, but it is becoming heavier for his body to bear. Maybe a tiny nap won´t hurt, just so that he can make a quick visit to the house that will become his home. Just to touch her hair one last time before it becomes reality. 

No! What is he thinking? He can´t drift away. He can´t give in to temptations. 

But her hair… and her body… if he never finds her, then all he will ever own, is the dreams of her. 

But it does not have to be that way. If he only manages to stay awake, just for a little longer, he will be held. Actually be held, by real hands. Her hands. Her soft, tiny hands. 

Hands that have touched a thousand of men. 

No! Don't think like that! Her past does not matter. All that matters is that she will become his. Just, stay, awake. 

“It is time to sleep, my child. You owe it to me” he hears a gentle voice in the wind whisper. He loses sense of the world around him. His back takes a hard hit to the ground, but his mind is too far gone to notice the pain. No woman has ever wanted a sleepless man anyway. So, he allows himself to disappear into the world of his dreams. There he looks at the stars with his pregnant wife, and they talk about how excited they are about the life they will make for themselves. He touches her soft hands, and look into her eyes, sparkling because he gave them his fire. And together, they are burning, to keep themselves warm in the cold, lonely night. "